DAYS AFTER he was dropped from the World Test Championship final that India lost to Australia, R Ashwin has said he would regret becoming a bowler instead of a batsman.
In an interview with The Indian Express, he also talked about the loneliness of the modern-day cricketer where “teammates aren’t friends but colleagues”, how he was “traumatised” by his frequent sacking in the past, and how leadership chances eluded him because people were actively “working against” him by labelling him as an “overthinker”.
“This is a true story… One day, I was watching the India-Sri Lanka game and India’s bowling was in tatters. My favourite was Sachin Tendulkar, and whatever runs he used to make, we used to leak those runs with the ball. I used to think one day, I must be a bowler. Can’t I be better than the bowlers that are there currently? This is a very childish way to think, but that is how I thought and that is why I started bowling off-spin. This is where it began,” he said.
“However, tomorrow, when I hang up my boots, the first thing I will regret is having been such a fine batter. I should have never become a bowler,” Ashwin said. “It’s (being dropped from WTC final) just a stumbling block, I’ll move on because I have gone through that. When somebody knocks you down for the first time, you have a knee-jerk reaction.”
As someone who thinks deeply about his craft and the sport itself, Ashwin said his sincerity has been mocked as “overthinking”, and used to deprive him of leadership chances.
“A lot of people marketed me and positioned me… (as) an overthinker. A person who knows that they will get only two games will be traumatised and will be overthinking because it’s my job… It (overthinker label) was created to work against me, right? And as I said, there have been statements that people have made all along when leadership is a question that’s come my way, there have been people… out there telling (that) my name is not the first name on the sheet when India tour abroad,” Ashwin said.
He admitted that being dropped frequently and the negative perceptions about him had left him “traumatised”. “I’m a lot more chilled than I used to be. A lot more relaxed than I ever have been. Sitting here today, I realise how much of a toll it had taken on me mentally, to the point where I was traumatised. But I am very glad to have come through that and discovered a new me,” he said.
